Wee in park, not in Macca's - magistrate

A TOURIST who urinated inside the front entrance of an Adelaide McDonald's should have relieved himself in nearby parklands, says a senior magistrate.

"You know there is a really big parkland across the road," Deputy Chief Magistrate Andrew Cannon told Queensland holidaymaker John Hawkins in the Adelaide Magistrates Court today.

"It might be (illegal) but at least you would have probably gotten away with it."

Hawkins today pleaded guilty to one count of urinating in a public place after a dispute with staff at the McDonald's West Tce restaurant on December 11.

The court heard that staff refused Hawkins' requests to use their toilet facilities because they were "out of order".

As he left, Hawkins stopped at the entrance and relieved himself during one of the restaurant's busier times.

After police arrived, Hawkins tried to excuse his conduct by explaining that he was "busting" despite public toilets being just 50m away.

Hawkins told the court he merely made an "honest mistake".

Mr Cannon recorded a conviction and fined Hawkins $100 plus court fees.

'The mirdle' hides beer guts and love handles

FOR blokes who would rather drink a six-pack than build one comes the latest in belly trimming technology - the man girdle.

Known as "mirdles", corsets for men are hitting the market faster than you can say love handle.

London department store Marks & Spencer is hoping to cash in on this latest craze with their new Bodymax shapewear range.

The stretch cotton vest and T-shirt are said to reduce waistlines by up to 4cm and will be available in 70 stores across England and online from January 7.

Marks & Spencer is following in the footsteps of Australian company Equmen, which has sold compression garments in Europe and North America since 2007.

While the Equmen range is yet to hit Australian department stores, it is available from boutiques in New South Wales.

Lisa Tarei said she has sold nine of the garments from her Just For Him store since Christmas.

"My husband tried it on and he had to tighten the belt on his pants by two notches," Ms Tarei said.

She said the mirdle was geared to metrosexuals, not "everyday labourers".

But a spokesman for Sydney-based underwear company aussieBums said "the typical Aussie male is pretty open-minded and more are embracing body-enhancing garments".

Motorists forced to dodge pole in busy lane

FRIGHTENED residents in a Queensland town have been forced to dodge a power pole located in a traffic lane.

A council oversight has seen the pole left standing in the new lane on Oakey Flat Rd, Narangba - one of the busiest roads in the Caboolture district.

Photos in the Northern Times show traffic bearing down on the pole, which appeared after the road was ironically widened for safety reasons.

Moreton Bay councillor Bob Millar said council had widened Oakey Flat Rd near Stark Drive in response to concerns from ratepayers.

He was unaware of the pole’s presence on the road until contacted by the Times.

“I think it’s just a scheduling issue,’’ Cr Millar said.

Our guys have kept the project moving and Energex (which owns the pole) haven’t.’’

An Energex spokeswoman said the pole would be relocated in February.

A council spokeswoman said yesterday red and white water-filled barriers had now been placed around the pole.

DJ sacked after pulling plug on 'boring' Queen

A BRITISH radio presenter has been sacked after he pulled the plug on the Queen's traditional Christmas Day speech, telling listeners it was "boring".

Tom Binns has lost his job at Birmingham radio station BRMB after listeners complained over his interruption of the monarch's traditional December 25 broadcast to Britain and the Commonwealth.

"Two words: Bor-ring," he said on air as he stopped the broadcast, before quipping "from one Queen to another..." as he put on Last Christmas by pop duo Wham, featuring openly gay singer George Michael.

Binns explained that the incident occurred after the Queen's Speech - a decades-old tradition still watched by millions of Britons and others every year - came on at a point when he had expected a regular news bulletin.

"I was working on my own on Christmas Day; I'd even had to let myself into the studio," he told the Chortle comedy website.

"After the guy before me finished, we should have taken the news from Sky, and then my show would start.

"But instead of the news, we got the Queen's speech.

"I knew it shouldn't be there, but having never heard it before, I didn't know how long it was going to go on for.

"I'm not trained to make editorial decisions, but I decided to get rid of it and make a joke. I said, 'Two words: bor-ring'.

"I then went into an old riff about how people say the royal family are good for tourism, but the French beheaded theirs and people still visit France."

Binns then cued up the Wham song.

He added that one listener got really angry.

"He sent me a message saying I should be sent to Basra and hoped I'd get killed by a roadside bomb... but other than that almost all the texts we received were in support of what I'd done."

The radio station's parent company, the Orion Media Group programme, said the DJ's comments were "inappropriate".

"We do not condone what he said in any way, whether said in jest or not," its programme and marketing director, David Lloyd, told the Birmingham Post.

"Tom will now not be featuring again on our radio stations."

Binns claimed "nobody would have tuned in to hear the Queen's speech" and that he "tried to deal with it in a funny way".

"After all, they employ comedians to make jokes," he said.

Lara Bingle's Aston Martin stolen at Bondi

LARA Bingle's $250,000 Aston Martin has been stolen in what appears to be a targeted attack.

The dark blue James Bond-style 2008 Vantage Coupe disappeared from a secure carpark at the base of the couple's luxurious apartment block in Bondi, Sydney.

The luxury vehicle was bought for the model by her partner, cricketer Michael Clarke.

Police confirmed they are investigating the incident, which they believe happened yesterday.

Ms Bingle could not be reached for comment but she wrote on social networking site Twitter: "Aston GONE . . . KARMA."

"What a way to start a year . . . I want it back."

The 22-year-old model had been in Melbourne supporting Clarke, who was playing for Australia in the first Test against Pakistan at the MCG.

However, she is believed to have returned to Sydney alone some time yesterday and was inside their home when the sportscar was stolen from the Campbell Pde complex.

Neighbours have reported that other car spaces were also broken into as the thieves searched for the car.

A source close to Ms Bingle, who declined to be named, said she was "shocked" and "frightened" over the incident.

"She can't believe it - she's really upset," the source said. "Michael is not here and she's quite frightened."

Clarke was said to be making plans to return from Melbourne last night to be by his fiancee's side following the end of the first Test.

Spokesmen for the couple refused to comment.

Police would not reveal if they had any leads into the theft but are believed to be reviewing CCTV footage.

Ms Bingle was given the luxurious vehicle as an early Christmas present in December last year.

At the time she admitted the car was hard to handle.

"I am not the best driver," she said. "It's kind of difficult to drive. It's a heavy car."

The V8, a distinguished Eastern Suburbs feature, made Bingle an instant and easy paparazzi target.

Geek_Kids

Man's ear superglued in party prank

DRUNKEN party guest who filled a sleeping fellow reveller's ear with superglue in an act of "gross drunken stupidity" has been ordered to pay his victim $9000 in compensation.

Brisbane District Court Judge Terry Martin, SC, in a decision published today, ordered Ryan Laim Upton, 28, pay Ben Ferrett, 27, criminal compensation for the permanent partial hearing loss caused by the foolish prank on January 11, last year.

Upton inflicted the injury on Ferrett, who he had just met, when they attended a party at Greenslopes, on Brisbane's sourthside, the Courier Mail reports.

Judge Martin, in a written judgment, said Ferrett and Upton were both intoxicated when the "prank" occurred.

"Having consumed a deal of alcohol (Ferrett) fell asleep on a couch in the living room," he said.

By way of a prank, (Upton) and others applied superglue to (Ferrett's) hand and glued it to his face.

"(Upton) then poured superglue into (Ferrett's) ear whilst (he) continued to sleep."

Upton pleaded guilty in the Brisbane District Court in late February to one count of grievous bodily harm.

The court was told one reveller had also used the superglue to pour it down Ferrett's pants between his buttocks.

When Ferrett woke up he felt a sharp pain in his ear and went to Wesley Hospital for treatment.

Ferrett last required surgery several months later, at a personal cost of almost $6000.

Barrister Brad Farr, SC, for Upton, said his client was extremely remorseful for his actions and had repaid Ferrett all his medical expenses.

Judge Terry Martin sentenced Upton to an 18-month, wholly suspended jail term.

"It was an act of gross stupidity," he said.

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