Kittens Car Wash

For a younger man, who knows how much moral damage a visit to the endangered Kittens car wash in Bentleigh East might have inflicted.

Quite a lot, according to irate locals who have bombarded Glen Eira councillors with complaints that the handkerchief-size site on the corner of North and Warrigal roads is a citadel of sleaze.

Porno is screened in the black and mauve office, charge critics, who also object to a bus featuring the image of a near-naked woman parked on an adjoining block.

But the official gripe is that the site is a traffic hazard, what with those girls in bikinis slinging soap suds and distracting passing motorists.

"There are lots of near misses and rear-enders because of people stopping to gawk," said a triumphant Cr Kate Ashmor, who was yesterday brandishing a newly issued VCAT judgment she believes obliges the car wash to shut up shop immediately.

It had been an anxious drive from the city to inspect this alleged cesspit of iniquity.

Fortunately, the Monash Freeway is lined with billboards featuring comely young women pitching everything from cars to airline tickets, so there was a chance to polish the art of ignoring firm busts and winsome faces.

That practice wasn't needed, as it turned out, because Kittens boasted only two workers -- one a bloke.

Though polite and very handy with a soapy brush, he didn't meet this reporter's definition of eye candy.

The other was part-time model Kirstie Taylor, 22.

Demurely draped in cargo pants and jacket before she posed in a bikini for our photographer, Ms Taylor bristled at suggestions X-rated flicks had been screened.

"It was only once, and it was just a video of some of the girls dancing at a club, not porno at all," she said.

"In summer the girls will get down to their bikinis, but you can see that at any beach. Big deal."

As for going out of business, Ms Taylor wasn't worried.

Neither was lawyer Guy Messina: "Our reading of the order is that we have until August 13 to paint lines, do the fences and make everything the way they want." Ten minutes and $15 after the soaping started, my formerly mud-spattered 4WD looked like new and the only dirty thing about it was me.

Dirty because the exit ramp was blocked by a driver who had stopped in mid-traffic, presumably to take a gander.